State of the Weirdlet
Apr. 17th, 2009 12:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weirdletNow that I'm in less of a lather...
So my dad finally got scared enough to go into the hospital and get everything checked out- badly controlled diabetes, fluid retention, weeping wounds, sleep apnea, general zombification, the works. Just yesterday, he had an incoherent fever and enough systems were just unstable enough that they moved him into the cardiac unit- mostly as a just-in-case mode, but I still wound up bawling when I saw him asleep and sweating when I went in there.
But that seems to have stabilized a little bit. I know he's not likely to up and die on me anytime soon, which is- somewhat of a relief. One of the horrible little thoughts that occurred to me, was keeping me calm last night- as well as my first ever hard lemonade (hey, if ever there was a time to try drinking, it was yesterday evening)- was that no matter what the outcome, things were going to change. And while I wouldn't want to lose my dad, I would not want to get the change I need that way- I could survive, and without being stuck as an aging three year old's handmaiden, I could even thrive.
Hopefully we've moved beyond that point now, because I really do want my daddy back and while I'm trying to be brutally honest with myself and my too-human practical viciousness, I still don't like that I have that thought.
It looks like this might have been the scare Dad needed to really start getting himself under control- I don't think he meant to let himself go this bad, but it's real hard for him to take care of himself, and it's not something any of us can afford to let stand. He might go into rehab (physical) for a while, which will give me the opportunity to get the house better accessible to him. I'm fighting against 25 years of packrattery and 23 years (as of 5:30 AM today, it's after midnight- happy birthday to me) of poor housekeeping skills, but without the literal every-five-minutes interruptions, I'm at least getting the opportunity to excavate things (even if I need to motivate myself and get my butt in gear- it's hard when you're alone).
In pleasanter news, it looks like I may be able to get the coat that was my birthday gift last year back from the leatherworker's who shortened it for me. About the time he called to say it was ready, lo these many months ago, I'd discovered just how bad the finances were and couldn't pay him. But Mom says generally they'll hang onto things for a while before selling them to recover the loss, so hopefully I'll be able to get it back for this year.
It's a really nice coat.
And the final oddness of the evening- I love Avatar: the Last Airbender. I have a cracky AU idea that I wish I were good enough friends with various other fans to spring on and get their opinions and possible collaborations. As usual, I'm late to the party and all the partnerships have been formed already, so no go for the odd man out.
Still- I have the weirdness, now I need a genuine plot.
http://weirdlet.deviantart.com/art/second-scrap-AU-Azula-119410559
Princess Ursa does 'poisonous, treasonous things that night' to her husband Ozai as well as Fire Lord Azulon. The official explanation is they murdered each other over the fate of Zuko. Now Fire Lady Ursa takes the throne in a coup, regent for her son, who will never know the flaming brand of his father's hand upon his face. Not sure what Iroh's part in this is- either he's still giving over his claim and supporting Ursa's regency, or he's the nominal Fire Lord and working on reigning in the war after the death of his son and the failure of the seige of Ba Sing Se.
Azula has been Ozai's pet since she was tiny- learned that mercy, compassion, empathy are for the weak and the trampled, while the powerful and the perfect climb to their rightful place at the top. Not entirely sure what the effect of losing Ozai will be- certainly the sight of her mother climbing to the top of the heap with claws out and bloody will be an interesting one, though whether it's '...I'll lie in wait and see if her words have merit' or 'bitch killed my daddy! One day, she'll pay!' remains to be seen.
Eventually, though, Ursa needs to get Azula out from underfoot- whether Azula is an overt threat herself or others are showing signs of seeking to make her head of a more aggressive Fire Nation- and she is promptly dropped off at the North Pole and married off to Prince (yes, prince!) Yue, the gentle, moon-touched son of Chief Arnook. Bereft of supporters, flunkies and familiar faces, Azula must adapt to life on the cold ice and among the warm people- warmer than she's used to, and too independant and close-knit for her to easily manipulate.
I can see Hahn being Yue's buddy, if not necessarily a great one, and giving him bad advice when Yue's trying to figure out how to keep his fiercesome wife entertained.
"Just dump her in the cold water- she's a fire-bender, she can take it!"
"...I could take her hunting? That seems like something she'd like."
"....you do realize it's an all-male retreat, this trip?"
"Come to think of it, she'd be really useful on the boat for rendering down the whalefat...."
So my dad finally got scared enough to go into the hospital and get everything checked out- badly controlled diabetes, fluid retention, weeping wounds, sleep apnea, general zombification, the works. Just yesterday, he had an incoherent fever and enough systems were just unstable enough that they moved him into the cardiac unit- mostly as a just-in-case mode, but I still wound up bawling when I saw him asleep and sweating when I went in there.
But that seems to have stabilized a little bit. I know he's not likely to up and die on me anytime soon, which is- somewhat of a relief. One of the horrible little thoughts that occurred to me, was keeping me calm last night- as well as my first ever hard lemonade (hey, if ever there was a time to try drinking, it was yesterday evening)- was that no matter what the outcome, things were going to change. And while I wouldn't want to lose my dad, I would not want to get the change I need that way- I could survive, and without being stuck as an aging three year old's handmaiden, I could even thrive.
Hopefully we've moved beyond that point now, because I really do want my daddy back and while I'm trying to be brutally honest with myself and my too-human practical viciousness, I still don't like that I have that thought.
It looks like this might have been the scare Dad needed to really start getting himself under control- I don't think he meant to let himself go this bad, but it's real hard for him to take care of himself, and it's not something any of us can afford to let stand. He might go into rehab (physical) for a while, which will give me the opportunity to get the house better accessible to him. I'm fighting against 25 years of packrattery and 23 years (as of 5:30 AM today, it's after midnight- happy birthday to me) of poor housekeeping skills, but without the literal every-five-minutes interruptions, I'm at least getting the opportunity to excavate things (even if I need to motivate myself and get my butt in gear- it's hard when you're alone).
In pleasanter news, it looks like I may be able to get the coat that was my birthday gift last year back from the leatherworker's who shortened it for me. About the time he called to say it was ready, lo these many months ago, I'd discovered just how bad the finances were and couldn't pay him. But Mom says generally they'll hang onto things for a while before selling them to recover the loss, so hopefully I'll be able to get it back for this year.
It's a really nice coat.
And the final oddness of the evening- I love Avatar: the Last Airbender. I have a cracky AU idea that I wish I were good enough friends with various other fans to spring on and get their opinions and possible collaborations. As usual, I'm late to the party and all the partnerships have been formed already, so no go for the odd man out.
Still- I have the weirdness, now I need a genuine plot.
http://weirdlet.deviantart.com/art/second-scrap-AU-Azula-119410559
Princess Ursa does 'poisonous, treasonous things that night' to her husband Ozai as well as Fire Lord Azulon. The official explanation is they murdered each other over the fate of Zuko. Now Fire Lady Ursa takes the throne in a coup, regent for her son, who will never know the flaming brand of his father's hand upon his face. Not sure what Iroh's part in this is- either he's still giving over his claim and supporting Ursa's regency, or he's the nominal Fire Lord and working on reigning in the war after the death of his son and the failure of the seige of Ba Sing Se.
Azula has been Ozai's pet since she was tiny- learned that mercy, compassion, empathy are for the weak and the trampled, while the powerful and the perfect climb to their rightful place at the top. Not entirely sure what the effect of losing Ozai will be- certainly the sight of her mother climbing to the top of the heap with claws out and bloody will be an interesting one, though whether it's '...I'll lie in wait and see if her words have merit' or 'bitch killed my daddy! One day, she'll pay!' remains to be seen.
Eventually, though, Ursa needs to get Azula out from underfoot- whether Azula is an overt threat herself or others are showing signs of seeking to make her head of a more aggressive Fire Nation- and she is promptly dropped off at the North Pole and married off to Prince (yes, prince!) Yue, the gentle, moon-touched son of Chief Arnook. Bereft of supporters, flunkies and familiar faces, Azula must adapt to life on the cold ice and among the warm people- warmer than she's used to, and too independant and close-knit for her to easily manipulate.
I can see Hahn being Yue's buddy, if not necessarily a great one, and giving him bad advice when Yue's trying to figure out how to keep his fiercesome wife entertained.
"Just dump her in the cold water- she's a fire-bender, she can take it!"
"...I could take her hunting? That seems like something she'd like."
"....you do realize it's an all-male retreat, this trip?"
"Come to think of it, she'd be really useful on the boat for rendering down the whalefat...."
